Bitter
by ColdGoldLazarus
Summary: Tigress was in a perpetual relationship with Shifu's dissapointed back. Oneshot, Tigress-centric. T for some mild mental swearing. NOT Shifu/Tigress.


**A/N: **I just spontaneously wrote this while listening to I hate everything about you by Three Day's Grace. I always found the dynamic between Shifu and Tigress to be a particularly volitle and sad relationship, and I guess that's how this came about. I know that Shifu does care, but Tigress doesn't know that, and I was writing this completely from her perspective. Maybe I'll add more, with Shifu's POV, but I might not. No matter what, I hope that you find this little story to be worth your time.

As for the betrayal dreams? Those stem from my younger, more insecure years where I had nightmares about making friends only to have them turn on me. Boo-hoo, I'm over it now. I just figured this would fit very well here.

* * *

Tigress was in a relationship. Not just any relationship either; it was one that was secret. And yet it was painfully obvious to those who knew her; they simply didn't think of it that way. Thus, the relationship was hidden in plain sight, as well. Who with? Not who; what. And that What was… Shifu's back.

She had _always_ ended up watching his back mournfully as he walked away in disappointment, she had _never_ seen his face when smiling at her, and she had _never_, once received his praise. Was she bitter? _Of course not_. Why the hell would she be bitter about receiving nothing but disgusted sighs and that same, all-too-familiar view of the red panda's cloak slowly retreating from her? Why the _hell_ would she be bitter about the negligence of her one real parental figure, one who she'd once looked up to as some mix of a god and a father?

Sometimes, at night when no one else was around, she'd have imaginary conversations with him, ones that played on her deepest fears and hatreds. In her mind, she'd finally burst out and call him out for everything, then finally ask him why. The imaginary Shifu would respond quickly, with an expression between disinterest and evil amusement at her plight; he'd say something to the effect of 'I never loved you, and never will. I adopted you to fill in for Tai lung, my great son… But you have failed. You will never become great, and you will never, ever make me care.'

She'd respond with hurt, gasping in shock at having her fears confirmed, and then the nightmare Shifu would place her in some sort of painful position, employing all of his skills to place her nerves in the maximum amount of agony possible, slowly killing her and gloating about it, laughing and saying that if she was half the fighter he wanted her to be, she'd have been able to overpower him by now, explaining in detail exactly how and why she failed to live up to his standards. But even in the most painful of poses he forced her into, it would never hurt her, not nearly as bad as the knowledge that she'd never get the fatherly love she wanted, and never deserve it.

The next few days, she'd feel so betrayed by the dream Shifu that she'd avoid the real one as much as possible, until she'd see him actually smile and praise one of the others, and she'd start to believe that maybe, just maybe, she'd be able to earn his love and respect. She'd return to training with a fury, but then once more be subject only to his flute forcefully correcting her and that view of his back. That night or the next, she'd once more hold that imaginary confrontation and be betrayed again.

Master Oogway had sometimes tried to talk to her about it, but she'd blown him off time and time again, insisting she was fine. It was a lie that convinced neither of them, but the old turtle wisely (stupidly?) never pressed the issue.

Then came the announcement that one of the Five was to be chosen as the Dragon Warrior, and Tigress saw this as her last chance. She trained hard, in the hour or so before the competition, and did her level best during it.

But then, dammit… Out of the sky came a big, fat panda who treated every one of the very few things she held as important… like a joke. A goddam joke, and one whose punch line was more perplexing than funny to him. Yes, in time she came to respect him for his vigilance and persistence, and for defeating Tai Lung, but somewhere under the surface, under her fur, there remained a deep-seated dislike of the panda. For landing in front of Oogway's finger that was trained on her, for not only taking her chance at finally earning Shifu's respect, but for taking away the slight bit of attention she had once received from the world-weary master.

At least The Back was something, at least the sighs had meant that he acknowledged her existence. Now he was too busy training the fat noodlemaker to even give her that small consession. She would give anything to at least have The Back once more in her domain; it wasn't even worth her time to even hope she might ever get more than that.

Of course she wasn't bitter. Why should she be bitter?


End file.
